Let's be honest................

My friend Constance (http://steplikeagiant.wordpress.com/) came to the studio this morning and, as usual, we chatted about a lot of things, art related and otherwise. One thing we talked about was private vs public expression (e.g. paper journaling vs blogging) and also about painting over things that almost seem too personal (or embarrassing?) to share. Self-editing and over analysis can easily become blocks to creativity…..and certainly to authenticity. I know I am not the only one who paints (or writes) things into my work that I end up covering up (or deleting). Write it all, paint it all………..be honest and get it out – there will always be plenty of time to repaint or edit.

I’ve been reading Lewis Hyde’s The Gift: Creativity and the Artist in the Modern World, http://www.lewishyde.com/pub/gift.html. After Constance left I picked it up and started a new chapter. Immediately I came upon this quote from Allen Ginsberg:

The parts that embarrass you the most are usually the most interesting poetically, are usually the most naked of all, the rawest, the goofiest, the strangest and most eccentric and at the same time the most universal….That was something I learned from Kerouac, which was that spontaneous writing could be embarrassing……that the cure for that is to write things down which you will not publish and you won’t show people. To write secretly….so you can actually be free to say anything you want.
It means abandoning being a poet, abandoning your careerism, really abandoning, giving up as hopeless – abandoning the possibility of really expressing yourself. You really have to make a resolution just to write for yourself, in the sense of not writing to impress yourself, but just writing what your Self is saying.

The late great David Foster Wallace said, “No one who is invested in any kind of art can read The Gift and remain unchanged”. Give yourself a New Year’s gift: read The Gift.

Some Things Never Change.........

Even though some things never change......here's to 2009 and CHANGE WE CAN ALL BELIEVE IN! Happy New Year.

A Good Omen for 2009

Downtown Asheville this evening.

"Happy Accidents" Release

I was honored to be asked by Billy to provide art (four paintings) for his new CD packaging. The CD, "Happy Accidents", is billed as "Funky Folk Music for the Whole Family", and includes
such soon-to-be-classics as "What Kind of Dog Are You?" and "Vitamin Alphabet". You can see the wonderfully generous Billy and others in "Hands of Hope", a community benefit concert on Sunday, December 21st at 1pm at Thomas Wolfe Auditorium. Hands of Hope is a unique program that brings social action into the classroom. For tickets and more information, go to http://www.billyjonas.com.

I Survived!

My fast is over.....I survived without incident. A few hunger pangs and a little bit of irritability (toward myself, not others!), but that was about it. it's interesting to experience hunger, of only for that long. Excuse me, I have to go eat now.

Rocco asks, "What the heck is she doing now?"

As I write this, I am in the middle of a 36 hour fast. If you think that doesn’t sound like very long, I suggest you try it! Fasting – even for a day or two – is a challenging proposition. It really shouldn’t be – we can all go without eating much longer than we think we can. I am consuming just water, green tea and a cleansing mixture (water, fresh lemon juice, maple syrup and cayenne pepper), similar to what people use while doing the “Master Cleanse” (a much longer, more serious fast for people way more committed than I am).

Aside from the obvious hunger pangs, going without food for even this long exposes how habitual our eating habits are. The impulse to open the fridge or grab a few crackers or whatever is undeniably strong – saying no to the impulse and honoring the fast forces one to be more awake and aware in general. It’s about a lot more than food (or lack of it). I read about one group of young people who decided to fast for a 24 hour period, so that they would have the experience of hunger that so many people around the world (and right here) feel every day. Putting yourself in another’s shoes can be a humbling teacher.

Fasting is also a test of will: Me against Me – the little devil on one shoulder whispering, “This is really stupid! You know you are weak! Have a cookie!” and the little angel on the other saying, “You can do this! You’re strong!”

By far the biggest test of will I have experienced is in running marathons. I have run fifteen and – although each one was different – one thing is constant: there will always be many times during that 26.2 miles when that little devil is screaming at you to stop….”why are you doing this?? how stupid is this!!” etc. But there is nothing more exhilarating than crossing the finish line in what can only be described as an altered state, completely drained and stripped down to your core, no defenses left….knowing that you did it.

As you can see, my cat Rocco thinks I’m nuts. I will write again tomorrow morning, after the first 24 hours. Stay tuned for a fascinating story of self deprivation. You’ll laugh! you’ll cry!! you’ll want to eat!!